While I was in high school, I used to have
a theory that said, "I will try everything once, twice or more if I liked
it". This might have been a good slogan for trying different kinds of food
or auditioning for a different kind of musical, but when it came to smoking,
drinking and sex, that slogan got the best of me in trouble on more than one
occasion.
You know the saying that you can get
hooked after the first cigarette? Well most people, especially 17-year-old me,
thought that saying was just a ploy by my mother to stop me from having fun.
Obviously, she wanted to ruin my life by not letting me try cigarettes. That’s
how smart I was….
When I turned 18 in September of 2009, {Yes
now you can figure out how old I am….}, I immediately went out and bought my
first pack of cigarettes. I believe they were Marlboro Lights. {I had such
great taste back then}. I think that was my way of secretly saying “Buzz off I can make
my own life decisions” to my parents, even though it did take them a couple
months….actually more like almost a year to figure out that I had officially
become a smoker.
Smoking was so glamorous at first. I know
most people would discourage me from saying so, but it was actually fun. I felt like the coolest person
ever blasting AC/DC while lighting up at a traffic light or having a cigarette
during my breaks at work. I liked the fact that I had a certain “crowd” to hang
out with. I was part of the “smoking” club and I made a lot of friends my first
year of college that way.
Looking back now, I realize how naive I
was. I always told my friends, “Oh
don’t worry, I can quit whenever I want to” and the really sad thing is that I
actually did think that I could quit whenever I decided I wanted to. But let me
tell you, quitting is an uphill battle, and depending on how long you smoked
before you quit, you have to work to quit for a long time.
Smoking eventually took its toll on my
body. My teeth started to stain yellow and so did my finger nails. I couldn’t
walk up more than 3 flights of stairs without losing my breath and everyone I
knew complained about how I always smelled like smoke.
Another sad fact. When you smoke, you do
not realize that you smell. Because you smell that way all the time, you become
immune to the awfulness {not a word} of cigarette smoke. It was only after I quit that I
started to smell that rancid stench from people on the streets and let me tell
you……it's disgusting.
I quit smoking one year ago last month,
but I never actually quit entirely. I smoked periodically during the summer,
and I even smoke now sometimes. If I get really stressed or if I happen to be
at a party where my friends are smoking, it is hard for me not to smoke. It is
an urge that I have yet to completely overcome. It is HARD.
Cigarettes were always a sense of calm and
relaxation for me. Now without them, I have to work to redefine aspects of my
life, and I have to replace cigarettes with other forms of relaxation. My
favorite is coffee. I drank coffee when I smoked, but not nearly as much as I
do now. I have a constant need to be drinking something, whether it be coffee
or hot chocolate or tea (Somehow I have never become obsessed with water, then I’d
be glad for the addiction). But nonetheless, I feel like I am never completely
relaxed or happy without that something. Feeling that way is not worth the year
or two of “feeling cool” by smoking.
So my advice to all 17, 18 and 19 year old
girls, please don’t start smoking. Now I know that I am being optimistic, or
maybe even ignorant for thinking that my asking girls not to smoke will change
their minds, but I do hope that they take the following advice. If you do
decide that you want to start smoking, you need to realize some things before
you do. Making the decision to start smoking will change your life forever. It
is not something that you can turn on and off whenever you want to. It is a
real addiction. It is sometimes fun and glamorous but it is also extremely
detrimental to your health, your body and it will affect the people around you.
So if you do decide to start smoking, make sure you are willing to accept the
consequences of your decision for the rest of your life.
Next
time I think I will talk about a topic that I am interested to see what I can
write about……illegal drugs.
Danielle
